A little boy came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he’d been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened. 

“Well, Dad,” said the boy, “I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons.” 

“Uh-huh,” said the father, “that seems fair.” 

“I know, but I never thought he’d choose his big sister!”

One Liner
I finally got my head together and my body fell apart.