A mother took her daughter Carlene, who was not yet old enough to read, to the eye doctor for a check-up.

The doctor used pictures to help determine how well Carlene was seeing. He showed Carlene a picture of a horse and asked, “How many legs does this horse have?”

Instead of saying the expected answer of “four,” Carlene answered, “Same as any other horse!”

One Liner
Exercise works best early in the morning, before your brain figures out what you’re doing.

Thought for the day
“It’s crucial that we keep a firm grip on what we’ve heard so that we don’t drift off” (Hebrews 2:1 The Message).

As you grow to spiritual maturity, you will have to cooperate with God in the process.

Thanksgiving Dinner on the Run
A woman called the Butterball Turkey Hotline to find out how long it would take to roast her turkey.  To answer the question, the Talk-Line home economist asked how much the bird weighed.  The woman responded, “I don’t know, it’s still running around outside.”

One Liner
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

Thought for the day
“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns” (Philippians 1:6 NLT).

It takes years for us to grow to adulthood, and it takes a full season for fruit to mature and ripen. The same is true for the fruit of the Spirit. The development of Christlike character cannot be rushed. Spiritual growth, like physical growth, takes time.

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field.

While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.  Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line.

When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, “You’re terrific!!!  Sign up for the season, and I’ll see to it that you get a huge bonus.”

“Forget the bonus,” the turkey said, “All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?

One Liner
I have something to say, but I don’t know what.

Thought for the day
“When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers—the moon and the stars you set in place—what are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them? . . . O LORD, our Lord, your majestic name fills the earth!” (Psalm 8:3-4, 9 NLT).

There’s an old rhyme that says, “Two men looked out from prison bars. One saw mud, the other saw stars.” In other words, one inmate looked down in despair, but the other one looked up in hope.

An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey.

His family was fond of the legs for dinner and there were never enough for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get together: “Well I finally did it. I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!”

They all asked the farmer how it tasted.

“I don’t know” said the farmer. “I could never catch the dang thing!”

One Liner
He ate so much over the holidays that he decided to quit cold turkey.

Thought for the day
Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death”

You don’t have to accept everything you feel, because not everything you feel is right or authentic or will lead you in the right direction.

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a
large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in
amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.

Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran
right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines,
the coach shouted, “You’re terrific! Sign up for the season, and I’ll see to
it that you get a huge bonus.”

“Forget the bonus,” the turkey said, “All I want to know is, does the season
go past Thanksgiving Day?”

One Liner
If I was a turkey, I’d be doing everything I could to taste terrible right
now.

Thought for the day
“I have made up my mind to obey your laws forever, no matter what” Psalm 119:112 CEV

The reason why most people are ineffective in life is that they’ve never learned how to fight the battle of the mind.  You have a choice. Your mind has to listen to you. God didn’t give you just a mind. He gave you a will! The best time to win the battle with temptation is before it begins.

The interviewer greets the next applicant for the job of night watchman.

His first question is: “What are your qualifications for the job of night watchman?”

The applicant replies, “The slightest noise wakes me up.”

One Liner
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Thought for the day
“Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts” Proverbs 4:23 GNT

God is far more interested in changing your mind than changing your circumstances.