How to tell if you celebrated a Redneck Thanksgiving
– You’ve ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a Ping-Pong table.
– Thanksgiving dinner is squirrel and dumplings.
– You’ve ever re-used a paper plate.
– You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say ‘Cool Whip’ on the side.
– You’ve ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
– Your turkey platter is an old hub cap.
– Your best dishes have Dixie printed on them.
– Your stuffing secret ingredient comes from the bait shop.
– Your only condiment on the dining room table is ketchup.
– Side dishes include beef jerky and Moon Pies.
– You have to go outside to get something out of the ‘fridge.
– The directions to your house include “turn off the paved road”.
– You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
– You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.
– Your secret family recipe is illegal.
– You serve Vienna Sausage as an appetizer.
“The difference between chickens and turkeys is that chicken’s celebrate Thanksgiving!!”
Thought for the day
Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!” Matthew 25:21 (NIV)
The point of living your life to the fullest in every aspect is not to increase your reputation; it’s to make your life count for God
‘TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING
‘Twas the night of Thanksgiving,
But I just couldn’t sleep.
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting sheep
The leftovers beckoned
The dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
The thought of a snack became infatuation!
So I raced to the kitchen,
Flung open the door,
And gazed at the fridge full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
Till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground!!
I crashed through the ceiling, floated into the sky
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie,
But I managed to yell
as I soared past the trees …
HAPPY EATING TO ALL, PASS THE CRANBERRIES PLEASE!!
Thanksgiving day was approaching, and the family received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on their way to church.
Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing, “The Pilgrim children liked to go to church with their mothers and fathers.”
“Oh yeah?” her young grandson replied. “So why is their dad carrying that rifle?”
Someone showed me how static electricity worked today. I was shocked
Thought for the day
“Give God all your worries and all your cares for he is always thinking about you watching everything that concerns you” (1 Peter 5:7).
Whatever concerns you, concerns God. Whatever you’re worried about, whatever you’re afraid of, whatever keeps you up at night, whatever gets your attention, gets God’s attention. No one will care more about your life, so why not give him your life to care about?
You Are Probably Overdoing Thanksgiving If…
* You spill more food on you than the local soup kitchen dispenses.
* Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the Lazy Boy.
* The gravy boat your wife set out was a real 12′ boat!
* The potatoes you used set off another famine in Ireland.
* You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail.
* You set off an earthquake seismograph on your morning jog on Friday.
* Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.
* You have 5 TV sets all side-by-side to catch all 5 football games.
* Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.
* Your arms have gotten too short to tie your shoes.
“Thanksgiving was never meant to be shut up in a single day.” – Robert Caspar Lintner
Thought for the day
“For he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant.” Luke 1:48a (NIV)
No one cares more about your life than God. No man, no woman, not even you. That’s why God’s destiny is always the best. God loves you perfectly and he is always thinking about you and thinking about what is best for you.