Monthly Archives: October 2019

Humor – October 31

Bob: What do mummies like to listen to on Halloween?
Bill: I don’t know – what?
Bob: Wrap music!

One Liner
Q: What is a ghost’s nose full of?
A: Boooooogers.

Thought for the day
“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere” James 3:17 NIV

Wise people are not defensive. They’re not stubborn. They’re open to reason. They’re willing to listen and learn. James 3:17 describes wisdom as “submissive,” but that word really means reasonable, willing to listen, and open to ideas and suggestions.

Humor – October 30

My granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with me, and I decided to teach her to sew.

After I had gone through a lengthy explanation of how to thread the machine, she stepped back, put her hands on her hips, and said in disbelief, “You mean you can do all that, but you can’t operate a cell phone?”

One Liner
When we say that something is “going down the drain” — isn’t that better than if it were coming up it?

Thought for the day
“A wise man controls his temper. He knows that anger causes mistakes” Proverbs 14:29 TLB

If you want to be wise in your relationships, don’t antagonize others’ anger.

Humor – October 29

Two kids are talking to each other. One says, “I’m really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I’m worried sick!”

The other kid says, “What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you’ve got it made!”

The first kid says, “What if they try to escape?”

One Liner
When I was born, my father came into the room and gave me a funny look. And as you can see, I’ve still got it!

Thought for the day
“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere” James 3:17 NIV

Wise people work at maintaining harmony.

Humor – October 28

My niece bought her five-year-old daughter Kayleigh a hamster. One day he escaped from his cage. The family turned the house upside-down and finally found him.

Several weeks later, while Kayleigh was at school, he disappeared again. She searched frantically … but never found the critter.

Hoping to make the loss less painful for Kayleigh, my niece took the cage out of her room. When Kayleigh came home from school that afternoon, she climbed into her mother’s lap. “We have a serious problem,” she announced. “Not only is my hamster gone again, but this time he took his cage.”

One Liner
I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.

Thought for the day
”Christ makes us one body and individuals who are connected to each other” Romans 12:5 GW

The church not only helps you center on God, it also helps you connect with other believers.


Humor – October 25

A teenager who had just received her learner’s permit offered to drive her parents to church. After a hair-raising ride, they finally reached their destination.

The mother got out of the car and said, “Thank you!”

“Any time,” her daughter replied.

As the woman slammed the door, she said, “I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to God.”

One Liner
Ever feel like you’re diagonally parked in a parallel universe?

Thought for the day
2 Peter 3:18, “Grow in spiritual strength and become better acquainted with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (TLB).

You grow in spiritual strength by using your money to develop skills and educate yourself, to become a better leader, a better speaker, a better prayer, or just a better person.