Romans 10:10

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Humor – September 13

A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with “IBA” or insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late…

One Liner
“Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.”

Thought for the day
“Practice these things. Devote your life to them so that everyone can see your progress.” (1 Timothy 4:15, GW)

There is only one way to develop the habits of Christlike character: You must practice them—and that takes time! There are no instant habits.

Humor – September 12

Two middle-aged couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, “Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?”

“Outstanding,” Fred replied. “They taught us all the latest psychological techniques, like visualization, association, and so on. It was great. I haven’t had a problem since.”

“Sounds like something I could use. What was the name of the clinic?”

Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn’t remember.

Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, “What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?”

“You mean a rose?”

“Yes, that’s it!”

He turned to his wife, “Hey Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?”

One Liner
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.

Thought for the day
“We speak the truth before God, as messengers of God.” 2 Corinthians 2:17b

When you became a believer, you also became God’s messenger. God wants to speak to the world through you.

Humor – September 11

I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort.

“Sorry,” I replied, “but I’ve been incapacitated.”

Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind and volunteer.

I interrupted and said, “I’m incapacitated. Do you know what that means?”

She hesitated. “It means your head was cut off?”

One Liner
They say you can’t really know someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. I say if they’ve got itsy-bitsy feet or some kind of foot disease, I don’t wanna know ’em.

Thought for the day
“The Lord has hidden Himself from His people, but I trust Him and place my hope in Him” (Isaiah 8:17 TEV).

It is easy to worship God when things are going great in your life—when He has provided food, friends, family, health, and happy situations. But circumstances are not always pleasant. How do you worship God then? What do you do when God seems a million miles away?

The deepest level of worship is praising God in spite of pain, thanking God during a trial, trusting Him when tempted, surrendering while suffering, and loving Him when He seems distant.

Humor – September 10

All the grandkids were visiting for Thanksgiving. Before dinner, Grandma made a lengthy speech about being thankful for her extra-special blessings, her four grandchildren.

Two seconds after she stopped speaking, craziness ensued and the kids were yelling and grabbing for the home-made rolls. Grandma sat there, eyes closed with a tight squint on her face. When asked what was the matter, she replied, “I’m just praying for a little patience to handle all these blessings.”

One Liner
Scientists have discovered an incredible fact: If an article of clothing is allowed to hang uninterrupted in a closet throughout just one holiday season, it will shrink at least two sizes.

Thought for the day
“Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king’s command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God” Daniel 3:28 NIV

King Nebuchadnezzar recognized that these guys were willing to defy his order and risk death because they trusted God.

What are you willing to die for?  If you don’t know what you’re willing to die for, you’ll never truly live. You’ll only exist.

Humor – September 9

My mother taught for 11 years at a day-care center. One winter afternoon she was trying to show a young boy how to zip up his coat.

“The secret,” Mom said, “is to get this piece of the zipper to fit in the other side before you try to zip it up.”

After struggling with the zipper for several minutes, the boy sighed and said, “Why does it have to be a secret?”

One Liner
Q: What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 feet long?
A: A ‘Pi-thon’ 🙂

Thought for the day
“You let captors set foot on our neck; then we went through fire and water and you led us out to freedom” Psalm 66:12 NAB

God wants you to be free. The Bible says the truth will set you free. But truth often comes with a high cost.