the wealthy businessman choked on a fish bone at a restaurant, he was fortunate that a doctor was seated at a nearby table.

Springing up, the doctor skillfully removed the bone and saved the man’s life.

As soon as the fellow had calmed himself and could talk again, he thanked the surgeon enthusiastically and offered to pay him for his services.

“Just name the fee,” he croaked gratefully.

“Okay,” replied the doctor. “How about half of what you’d have offered when the bone was still stuck in your throat?”

One Liner
“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.” – Edith Lovejoy Pierce

My husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often he turns to me for advice. Recently, I was in the shower when he poked his head in to ask, “What should I feed Lily for lunch?”

“That’s up to you,” I replied. “There’s all kinds of food. Why don’t you pretend I’m not at home?”

A few minutes later, my cell phone rang. I answered it to hear my husband asking, “Yeah, hi, Honey. Uh…what should I feed Lily for lunch?”

One Liner
“Self-esteem-boosting tip: Whenever you receive mail addressed to “resident,” just write a big “P” in front of that to make yourself feel more important.”

One Sunday after church Mom asked her very young daughter what the Sunday School lesson was about. Daughter answered “Don’t be scared, you’ll get your quilts.”

Needless to say, Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, Pastor stopped by for tea. Mom asked him what that morning’s Sunday school lesson was about.

He said “Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming.” Now it made sense.

One Liner
“No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.”
~Abraham Lincoln

While putting my 4-year-old daughter to bed one evening, I read her the story of the Prodigal Son. We discussed how the young son had taken his inheritance and left home, living it up until he had nothing left. Finally, when he couldn’t even eat as well as pigs, he went home to his father, who welcomed him.

When we finished the story, I asked my daughter what she had learned. After thinking a moment, she quipped, “Never leave home without your credit card!”

One Liner
I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.”