Humor – February 13

After receiving a beautiful haircut, a doctor asks the barber, “How much do I owe you?”

“Oh, I never charge a doctor,” the barber replies. “You all do such good, important work.”

The next morning, the barber arrives at his shop and finds a thank you note and a bottle of wine on his doorstep from the doctor.

Later that day, a police officer walks into the same barbershop. After a beautiful haircut, the police office asks the barber, “How much do I owe you?”

“Oh, I never charge a police officer,” the barber replies. “You all do such good, important work.”

The next morning, the barber arrives at his shop and finds a thank you note and a box of candy on his doorstep from the police officer.

Later that day, a pastor walks into the same barbershop. After a beautiful haircut, the pastor asks the barber, “How much do I owe you?”

“Oh, I never charge a pastor,” the barber replies. “You all do such good, important work.”

The next morning, the barber arrives at his shop and finds twelve pastors on his doorstep.

One LINER
It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

Thought for the day
God gave us a free gift of salvation when Jesus took our sin upon himself. It’s a gift we must receive. The Bible says, “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12 NIV).

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Humor – February 12

My husband was delighted when our 3-year-old daughter climbed up onto his knee and said, “Daddy, you’re handsome.” But his grin quickly faded when she added, “and I’m Gretel.”

One LINER
Why does the psychic hotline ask for your credit card number?

Thought for the day
“God showed how much he loved us by sending his only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love . . . he sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins” (1 John 4:9–10 NLT).

Everything in life changes—relationships, jobs, fame. One minute you feel like a hero; the next minute you feel like a zero. But there’s one thing in the universe that will never change: God’s love.


Humor – February 11

TRUE LOVE

If you love something, set it free.

If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours.

If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.

If it just sits in your living room,

messes up your stuff,

eats your food,

uses your telephone,

takes your money,

and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or birthed it.

One LINER
DIAPER spelled backward is REPAID. Think about it!

Thought for the day
“Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer” (Romans 12:11-12 NIV).

To reach your goals, you have to figure out how to maintain your enthusiasm over the long haul.

Humor – February 8

Two old friends met one day after many years. One attended college, and now was very successful. The other had not attended college and never had much ambition.

The successful one said, “How has everything been going with you?”

“Well, one day I opened the Bible at random, and dropped my finger on a word and it was oil. So, I invested in oil, and boy, did the oil wells gush.

“Then another day I dropped my finger on another word and it was gold. So, I invested in gold and those mines really produced. Now, I’m as rich as Rockefeller.”

The successful friend was so impressed that he rushed to his hotel, grabbed a Gideon Bible, flipped it open, and dropped his finger on a page.

He opened his eyes and his finger rested on the words, “Chapter Eleven.”

One Liner
I saw that TV show “50 Things To Do Before You Die.” I would have thought the obvious one was “shout for help.”

Thought for the day
Romans 8:9 says, “You are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all)” (NLT).

Yes, you will still have those desires. But the Holy Spirit will give you the power to say “no” to them; you do not have to satisfy those desires. This is the difference the Spirit of God makes in you. This is how God sets you free from your compulsions.


Humor – February 7

One Sunday after church Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about.

Her daughter answered, “Don’t be scared, you’ll get your quilts.” Needless to say, Mom was perplexed.

Later in the day, the Pastor stopped by for tea. Mom asked him what that morning’s Sunday school lesson was about.

He said, “Be not afraid, Thy comforter is coming.”

One Liner
A short fortune-teller escaped from prison to become a small medium, at-large.

Thought for the day
“The Lord blessed the last part of Job’s life even more than he had blessed the first” (Job 42:12 GNT). Job went through all this hurt, but in spite of that, God blessed the last part of Job’s life even more than the first.