Romans 10:13

Advertisements

Humor – May 18

A driver tucked a note under her windshield wiper and dashed off:
“I’ve circled the block for 20 minutes. I’m late for an appointment, and if I don’t park here I’ll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses.”

Returning, she came back only to find a parking ticket and this note:

“I’ve circled the block for 20 years, and if I don’t give you a ticket, I’ll lose my job. . . Lead us not into temptation.”

One LINER
Most people don’t make the same mistake twice. They make it three or four times.

Thought for the day
“But the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is!” (Romans 1:19 MSG)

Truth can be discovered, but first we have to have an attitude of openness that says, “I want the truth more than anything else.” Once you choose that attitude, you can discover the truth.

Humor – May 17

Teacher (frustrated): “Look at this paper. How could one person make so many mistakes?”

Student (defensive): “It wasn’t one person – my dad helped!”

One LINER
After thousands of years, we have advanced to the point where we bolt our doors and windows and turn on our burglar alarms, while the jungle natives sleep in open-door huts…

Thought for the day
“A wise man thinks ahead; a fool doesn’t and even brags about it!” (Proverbs 13:16 LB).

Too often, many of our problems arise from acting before thinking. We confuse activity with productivity. We think, “I’m so busy, I must be accomplishing something!” In reality, we may just be spinning our wheels.

Humor – May 16

Work Confusion

A passerby noticed a couple of city workers working along the city sidewalks.

The man was quite impressed with their hard work, but he couldn’t understand what they were doing.

Finally, he approached the workers and asked, “I appreciate how hard you’re both working, but what on earth are you doing? It seems that one of you digs a hole, and then the other guy immediately fills it back up again.

One of the city workers explained, “The third guy who plants the trees is off sick today.”

One LINER   
“The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. – George Burns

Thought for the day
Psalm 34:1
“I will praise the Lord at all times.”

In the good, bad, ugly, sun, rain, dark, light, sad, glad, mountain top, valley, night, sickness, health, snow, hail, at all times!!  I’m praising Him today!!

Humor – May 15

A clergyman, walking down a country lane, sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.

“You look hot, my son,” said the cleric. “Why don’t you rest a moment, and I’ll give you a hand.”

“No thanks,” said the young man. “My father wouldn’t approve.”

“Don’t be silly,” the minister said. “Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water.”

Again the young man protested that his father would be upset.

Losing his patience just a little, the clergyman said, “Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I’ll give him a piece of my mind!”

“Well,” replied the young farmer, “you can tell him whatever you like just as soon as I get this hay off him.”

One LINER   
When everything’s coming your way, You’re in the wrong lane.

Thought for the day 
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

We are God’s temple! He lives in us and what we do in our bodies is part of our worship to Him. We are called to glorify God in our bodies.

 

Humor – May 14

Cross Country Move

When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars. Nathan, our eight-year-old, worriedly asked, “How will we keep from getting separated?”

“We’ll drive slowly so that one car can follow the other,” I reassured him.

“Yeah, but what if we DO get separated?” he persisted.

“Well, then I guess we’ll never see each other again,” I quipped.

“Okay,” he said. “I’m riding with Mom.”

One LINER
Have a nice day…someplace else!

Thought for the day 
My eyes are ever on the Lord …. Psalm 25:15

My eyes are ever on the Lord – not on power, prestige, possessions or pleasure!