Monthly Archives: January 2023

Humor – January 27

YOU’RE FROM A SMALL TOWN IF:

~ You can name everyone you graduated with.

~ You know what each H in 4-H stands for.

~ You give directions by references: “Turn by Nelson’s house, go two blocks past Anderson’s,  and it’s four houses left of the track field.”

~ You can’t help but date a friend’s ex-girlfriend.

~ The town next to you is considered “trashy” or “snooty,” but is actually just like your town.

~ Anyone you want can be found at either the Dairy Queen or the feed store.

~ You see at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town.

~ The city council meets at the coffee shop.

~ You decide to walk somewhere for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask if you need a ride.

~ Your teacher calls you by your older sibling’s name.

~ Even the ugly people enter beauty pageants.

One Liner

I married Mr. Right. I just didn’t know his first name was “Always.”

Humor – January 26

A new business was opening and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send flowers for the occasion.

They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card. It said, “Rest in Peace.”

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said, “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, ‘Congratulations on your new location.'”

One Liner

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? Does old sour cream go good? 

Humor – January 23

Max Greenberg was at his favorite eatery, the Second Avenue Deli, when he called over the waiter.

“Yes?” asked the busy waiter.

“Are you sure you’re the waiter I ordered from?” asked Max.

“Why do you ask?” replied the waiter.

Max replied, “Because I was expecting he would be a much older man by now.”

One Liner

Losing weight doesn’t seem to be working for me, so from now on I’m going to concentrate on getting taller.