Having looked the other way for weeks, the boss finally called Smith into his office for a sit-down.

“You know, Smith,” he said, “I’ve noticed that every time you have to take your dear old aunt to her doctor’s appointments, there’s a home game over at the stadium.”

“Wow, sir. I guess you’re right,” Smith answered. “I didn’t realize it. You don’t think she’s faking it, do you?”

One Liner
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

LAX airport security has led to a string of IKEA robberies.

Police are building their case but still piecing together the evidence. The detective named to lead the case is Allen Wrench whose sidekick is Phillip.

They are right on the case, putting the screws to key suspects.

One Liner

My wife told me to put ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can’t read anything.