O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! Psalm 8:9
Celebrate that Christ has come.
Not to a mansion, but a manger.
Not to the high and mighty, but to the guys on the lowest rung of the spiritual ladder.
And celebrate that God’s grace finds you wherever you are this Christmas and
shows you the way upwards to the arms of the Almighty God!
JESUS IS BORN !!
Two city boys were on their first camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce the boys had to hide under their blankets to keep from being devoured.
When they saw some lightning bugs, one boy said to the other: “We might as well give up, they’re coming at us with flashlights!”
Adulting is a soup and I am a fork.
Being the office supervisor, I had to have a word with a new employee who never arrived at work on time.
I explained that her tardiness was unacceptable and that other employees had noticed that she was walking in late every day. After listening to my complaints, she agreed that this was a problem and even offered a solution.
“Is there another door I could use?”
I always thought it odd that Cap地 Crunch is made by Quaker Oats…a cereal commanded by a military officer made by an avowedly non-combatant community of oats.
In a spy novel I had just read, the hero hid a letter in a particular statue in Washington, D.C.
Since I was in that city at the time, on a whim I decided to see if the statue really contained the small niche the author had described.
To my great surprise, it did — and a cellophane-wrapped letter was inside. After a moment’s hesitation, I pulled out the letter, opened it, and burst into laughter.
An unidentified reader had penned, “Good book, wasn’t it?”
Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.
THINGS TO DO TO LIVEN UP THANKSGIVING DINNER
1. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it all in the blender, and take your “shake” back to the table. Announce that it’s the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake.
2. When everyone goes around to say what they are thankful for, say, “I’m thankful I didn’t get caught,” and refuse to say anything more
3. Bring along old recorded football games, pop them in the DVD when Dad’s not looking. Make sure it is set to the last two minutes of the game. When he comes into the room, turn off the DVD and turn on the regular TV.
4. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms.
5. During mid-meal turn to mom and say, “See mom, I told you they wouldn’t notice that the turkey was past the expiration date. You were worried for nothing.”
I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.