After breakfast one day, I eagerly waited for John to comment on my first attempt at homemade cinnamon rolls.

After several minutes with no reaction, I asked, “If I baked these commercially, how much do you think I could get for one of them?”

Without looking up from his newspaper John replied, “About 10 years.”

One Liner

Middle Age: When a broad mind and a narrow waist change places.

Two city boys were on their first camping trip.  The mosquitoes were so fierce the boys had to hide under their blankets to keep from being devoured.

When they saw some lightning bugs, one boy said to the other: “We might as well give up, they’re coming at us with flashlights!” 

One Liner

Adulting is a soup and I am a fork.

Being the office supervisor, I had to have a word with a new employee who never arrived at work on time. 

I explained that her tardiness was unacceptable and that other employees had noticed that she was walking in late every day. After listening to my complaints, she agreed that this was a problem and even offered a solution.

“Is there another door I could use?”

One Liner

I always thought it odd that Cap地 Crunch is made by Quaker Oats…a cereal commanded by a military officer made by an avowedly non-combatant community of oats.

In a spy novel I had just read, the hero hid a letter in a particular statue in Washington, D.C. 

Since I was in that city at the time, on a whim I decided to see if the statue really contained the small niche the author had described. 

To my great surprise, it did — and a cellophane-wrapped letter was inside. After a moment’s hesitation, I pulled out the letter, opened it, and burst into laughter.

An unidentified reader had penned, “Good book, wasn’t it?”

One Liner
Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.