The perks of being over 70:

> People no longer consider you a hypochondriac

> There is nothing left to learn the hard way

> Neighbors don’t complain about your parties

> Things you buy now won’t wear out

> Your investment in health insurance starts to pay off

> Elevators finally play good music

> You don’t have to hold in your stomach no matter who walks into the room

One Liner
CPR is a near-breath experience.