An old man was relaxing at his hundredth birthday party when a reporter went up to him. 
“Sir, what is the secret of your long life?” The man considered this for a moment, then replied “Every day at 9 PM I have a glass of port. Good for the heart I’ve heard.” 

The reporter replied, “That’s ALL?” 

The man smiled, “That, and canceling my voyage on Titanic.” 

One Liner

When a woman says, “What?” it’s not because she didn’t hear you. 
She is giving you a chance to change what you said…