RULES FOR PROCRASTINATORS

1. If anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

2. Never put off until tomorrow what you can forget about altogether.

3. All deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

4. The probability of a miracle, though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.

5. If at first you don’t succeed, there is always next year.

One Liner

At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent. Unless the job is a statistician.