A lady sent in a long obituary. The paper called and told her the cost was so much per word.

“Oh, my” she said, “Just change that to ‘George died.'”

The paper then told her that there was a five word minimum.

“Well,” she said, “make that ‘George died, Buick for sale.'”

One Liner

I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of her lipstick. She still isn’t talking to me.