Dearest Lauren,

I’m so sorry for the things I said.  I’ve been unable to sleep since I broke off our relationship last month.  I think about you day and night. Your absence is breaking my heart and recently I’ve begun to realize that nobody can take your place.  Sweetheart, I miss you so much.  Please call me.

All my love,

Robert 

P.S. Congratulations on winning last week’s Powerball Lottery.

One Liner

I’m going to live forever, or die trying.