NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

2020: I will get my weight down below 180 pounds.

2021: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200 pounds.

2022: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight.

2023: I will work out 3 days a week.

2024: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.

One Liner

I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it’s been doing is gathering dust.