YOU KNOW YOU’RE A BAD COOK WHEN…

– You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer.

– You consider it a culinary success if the pop-tart stays in one piece.

– Your dog goes to the neighbors’ to eat.

– When you barbecue, two of your kids hold water guns and the third stands ready by the phone with 911 on speed-dial.

– Your family automatically heads for the dinner table every time they hear a fire truck siren.

– Your two best recipes are meatloaf and apple pie, but your dinner guests can’t tell which is which.

– You’ve used three boxes of scouring pads, a bottle of Drano, and a crowbar, and that macaroni and cheese still won’t let go of the pan.

– You make tuna noodle surprise and the surprise is that it glows in the dark and melts the silverware.

One Liner

The best way to save face is to keep the lower part shut.