MOM’S LIST OF THINGS SHE DOES NOT WANT TO HEAR

1.  I swallowed the goldfish.

2.  Your lipstick works better than crayons.

3.  Does grape juice leave a stain?

4.  The principal called…

5.  But DAD says that word all the time!

6.  What’s it cost to fix a window?

7.  Has anyone seen my earthworms?

8.  Look, I painted your shoes pretty!

9.  The dog doesn’t like dressing up in your underwear.

10.  I’m running away from home.
     (… well, maybe some days …)  

One Liner

The Scots invented golf, which might explain why they invented Scotch.