A cinema actor, suing for a breach of contract, described himself as the greatest actor in the world.

One of his friends took him to task for so loudly singing his own praises.

“I know,” replied the actor, “it must have sounded somewhat conceited, but, remember, I was under oath.”

One Liner

I just paid it BACKwards by telling the guy at the window that the car behind me was paying for my stuff.