MISINTERPRETATIONS
~ When my twin daughters were young, I taught them to say the Lord’s Prayer before going to bed. As I listened outside their door, I could hear them say, “Give us this steak and daily bread, and forgive us our mattresses.”
~ My son, who is in nursery school, said, “Our Father, who art in Heaven, how didja know my name?”
~ I remember thinking it said “Give us this day our jelly bread.”
~ I recall reading something years ago about the Pledge of Allegiance. Some child thought it began, “I led the pigeons to the flag.”
~ When I was little, I often wondered who Richard Stands was. You know: “I pledge allegiance to the flag. And to the republic for Richard Stands.”
~ When my husband was 6 years old, he thought a certain Prayer was “He suffered under a bunch of violets.” The real words were “under Pontius Pilate,” but at that age, he didn’t know better. To this day, we still snicker in church whenever that prayer is read.
~ My mother spent her early childhood saying, “Hail Mary, full of grapes.”
~ When my older brother was very young, he always walked up to the church altar with my mother when she took communion. On one occasion, he tugged at her arm and asked, “What does the priest say when he gives you the bread?” Mom whispered something in his ear. Imagine his shock many years later when he learned that the priest doesn’t say, “Be quiet until you get to your seat.”
~ When I was younger, I believed the line was “Lead a snot into temptation.” I thought I was praying for my little sister to get into trouble.
One Liner
Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
mikeshumor 