You know it’s going to be a BAD DAY when…

> You jump out of bed in the morning and miss the floor.

> Your four-year-old greets you with the news that its almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet.

> The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.

> Your horn gets stuck when you’re following a group of Hell’s Angels on the freeway.

> You get to work and there’s a 60 Minutes news team waiting in your office.

> Your twin sister forgets your birthday.

> Your doctor tells you that you’re allergic to chocolate.

> Your boss tells you not to bother to remove your coat.

> Your blind date turns out to be your ex.

One Liner

It only takes one slow-walking person in the grocery store to destroy the illusion that I’m a friendly, nice person.