DOG’S NOTES TO SELF

~  I will not steal my mom’s underwear and dance all over the backyard with it. 

~  The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are mom & dad’s laps. 

~  My head does not belong in the refrigerator. 

~  I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for mom’s driver’s license and car registration. 

~  I will not play tug-of-war with dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet. 

~  I will not use “roll around in the dirt” as an option just after getting a bath. 

~  Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello. 

~  I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet. 

~  The toilet bowl is not a never-ending water supply and just because the water is blue, it doesn’t mean it is cleaner. 

~  The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.

One Liner

I learned today why Corrie Ten Boom changed her name. She got tired of introducing herself as Corrie Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom Boom.