Top 5 signs that gasoline has gotten way too expensive:

1. A gas station is offering a free car with every fill up.

2. Any purchase over a gallon requires a credit check.

3. Price is now in gold bullion.

4. Texaco now offering monthly payment plans.

5. You’re excited to find gas at under $5 a half cup.

One Liner

You know you’ve reached middle age when you when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.