The Baptist minister had been summoned to the bedside of a Presbyterian woman who was quite ill. As he went up the walk, he met the little daughter of the woman and said to her, “I’m very glad your mother remembered me in her illness. Is your minister out of town?”

“No,” answered the child. “He’s at home, but we thought it might be something contagious, and we didn’t want to expose him to it.”

One Liner
I hate when I wake up for a glass of water in the middle of the night and eat a whole cheesecake.