Two brothers at dinner; two steaks on the platter. The younger brother immediately helps himself to the bigger piece.

Older brother: “When are you going to learn to be polite???”

Younger brother: “If you had first pick, which would you take?”

Older: “The smaller piece, of course.”

Younger: “So what are you whining about? You want the smaller piece? You got it!”

One Liner
My body just asked for water and I gave it a mini-donut instead. Nobody tells me what to do.