WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE

~ Leave the photocopier set to “reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch paper, 99 copies.”

~ Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

~ Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”

~ Sing along at the opera.

~ Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”

~ Staple papers in the middle of the page.

~ Honk and wave to strangers.

~ Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

~ TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.

~ Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now.”

~ Go to a poetry recital and after each poem ask why it doesn’t rhyme.

One Liner

Here’s the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting a tomato in a fruit salad.