A woman answered the phone; it was a salesman calling from a mortgage company.

He: “Do you have a second mortgage on your home?”   

She: “No.”

He: “Would you like to consolidate all your debts?”   

She: “I really don’t have any debts.”

He: “How about freeing up cash for home improvements?”

She: “I don’t need any.  I just recently had some done and paid cash.”

…brief silence…

He: “Are you looking for a husband?”

One Liner

An Illinois man is suing Smart Water for not making him smart. I think I will formally declare my lawsuit against Thin Mints.