SIGNS YOU’RE OVERDOING THANKSGIVING

~ Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.

~ You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth’s axis.

~ You have five TV sets side-by-side to catch all the football games.

~ You spill more food on you than the local soup kitchen dispenses.

~ Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy.

~ You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday.

~ Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.

~ Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.

~ Your arms are too short to reach the keyboard and delete this.

One Liner

Thanksgiving is the only holiday you deep-fry the mascot.