A coworker told me that I looked tired.

“I am,” I said. “I just finished 50 push-ups.”

“Oh really? When did you start doing push-ups?”

“Well, I did the first one in 1986.”

One Liner 
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Thought for the day
We can worry or we can worship. Strangely enough, busy people find it a whole lot easier to worry than to worship. – Jill Briscoe