WIFE’S DIARY:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much.

I asked him what was wrong; He said, “Nothing…” I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say, “I love you, too.”

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HUSBAND’S DIARY:

A two-foot putt … WHO misses a stupid two-foot putt!

One Liner
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it’s just sort of a tired feeling.

Thought for the day
“If you … know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11 NIV)

God is the source of everything. Everything you see in the world and everything you can’t see in the world and in the universe, God made. He’s the source of every good thing in the universe.

Kathy walks into the kitchen and sees Rachel with the whole box of animal crackers spread out on the counter top.

Kathy: “Why did you pour out the whole box?”

Rachel: “The box says, ‘Do not eat if the seal is broken.’ I’m looking for the seal.”

One Liner
In theory, everything works.

Thought for the day
“We’re depending on God; he’s everything we need. What’s more, our hearts brim with joy since we’ve taken for our own his holy name. Love us, God, with all you’ve got — that’s what we’re depending on.” (Psalm 33:20-22 MSG)

Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation.

Two brothers, both farmers, were talking on the phone.

One asks the other how bad the drought.

The other replied, “Well it’s got so bad they’ve closed two lanes at the local swimming pool.”

One Liner
“People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.”

Thought for the day
“From him the whole body … grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” Ephesians 4:16 (NIV)

A church needs more than just a pastor or a worship leader. Whether it’s a new church or one that’s been around for years, it takes all kinds of people to grow a church.

The two window panes were arguing as to which one was made of the better glass.

One said to the other, “Well, you may think you are a better glass, but I know what you are trying to prove. Believe me, I can see right through you.”

One Liner
It’s been lovely but I have to scream now.

Thought for the day
“Whoever is faithful in small matters will be faithful in large ones; whoever is dishonest in small matters will be dishonest in large ones.” (Luke 16:10 GNT)

A common saying today is that “what you do in your private life is nobody’s business.” Well, it actually is. What you do in your private life — what you do behind closed doors or out of view of other people — builds and reveals your true character. And God sees it just as clearly as the things you do in public.

When men are born, their mothers get compliments and flowers.

When they marry, their brides get presents and publicity.

When they die, their widows get the life insurance.

So, tell me: why is it “a man’s world”?

One Liner
The email of the species is more deadly than the mail.

Thought for the day
“We are helpless in the face of this large army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but we look to you for help.” (2 Chronicles 20:12 GNT)

When you feel overwhelmed, it’s important to go to God in prayer and confess your inability and inadequacy. You need to be honest if you’re afraid and tell God exactly how you feel.

“Doctor, I’d like you to evaluate my 13 year-old son.”

“OK: He’s suffering from a transient psychosis with an intermittent rage disorder, punctuated by episodic radical mood swings, but his prognosis is good for full recovery.”

“How can you say all that without even meeting him?”

“I thought you said he’s 13?”

One Liner
Duct tape does not fix stupid.

Thought for the day
The Bible asks, “Who may ascend the hill of the LORD? Who may stand in his holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to an idol or swear by what is false” (Psalms 24:3-4 NIV).

Who gets to be close to God? The Bible says he who has clean hands and a pure heart. That doesn’t mean you are perfect; it means you are confessed up. You may not always do the right thing, but you want to do the right thing. Your heart really is pure, although you will still make mistakes.

Jesus said it like this: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God” (Matthew 5:8 NIV). If you want to be blessed in your work, in your finances, and in your family, you must have a pure heart. You need integrity and purity. You need to act on the truth and keep your motives clear.