A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. 

After looking the man over, he says, “Sir, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?”

The man gets indignant and says, “Officer, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts”

One Liner
Text of the times:
Daughter: I love you, Mom!
Mom: Sorry. I have no money. Try it with your dad.

Thought for the day
When you learn God’s Word — or even take it a step further and memorize his Word — you protect yourself from temptation.

Rick Warren calls this the paraphrase-it method of Bible meditation. It’s pretty simple, really. You take a verse out of the Bible that you’re reading or studying, think about it for a bit, and then rephrase it and say it in your own words.