Humor – January 17

THINGS I’VE SEEN IN TEXAS

~ A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

~ There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas

~ There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas .

~ If it grows, it’ll stick ya. If it crawls, it’ll bite cha.

~ There is no such thing as ‘lunch.’ There is only dinner and then there is supper.

~ Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you’re two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.

~ “Backwards and forwards” means “I know everything about you.”

~ The word ‘jeet’ is actually a phrase meaning, ‘Did you eat?’

~ You don’t have to wear a watch, because it doesn’t matter what time it is. You work until you’re done or it’s too dark to see

~ You measure distance in minutes.

~ You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

~ You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.

~ The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for high school football.

~ You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

~ Fried catfish is the other white meat.

One Liner
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Thought for the day
Proverbs 18:9 says, “Slack habits and sloppy work are as bad as vandalism” (The Message). The Living Bible translates the verse this way: “A lazy person is as bad as someone who destroys things”.

God considers it a serious sin when we don’t give a full day’s work for a full day’s pay. Even if no one else at work gives their all, followers of Jesus should.

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