A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. 

The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green. Little Johnny, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire-truck red. 

After seeing this, the teacher asked him, “Little Johnny, how many times have you seen a red duck?” 

Little Johnny replied, “The same number of times I’ve seen a duck holding an umbrella.”

One Liner
Paid for a limousine and the driver never showed up. I paid all that money and got nothing to chauffeur it.