A couple were going out for the evening. They’d got ready, all dressed up, set the lights, and put the cat put out.

Their Uber arrives, and as the couple opened the front door, the cat zips back in between their legs and disappears up the stairs.  They don’t want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the car while the husband goes upstairs to find the cat and put it out.

The wife, worried abut some recent break-ins in their neighborhood and not wanting it known that the house will be empty, explains to the Uber driver “He’s just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.”

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab apologetically, “Sorry I took so long” he says, “Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger and grab her by the scruff of the neck to get her to come out! Then she slipped away and ran into the closet, but I quickly trapped her in the corner and got a good hold on her.”

One Liner

Wrinkles mean you laughed; grey hair mean you care; scars mean you lived; a large rear end means you love tacos.