Last night, I had a discussion with Kimberly about her life management skills (or lack thereof). I told her that I thought she should start making lists of things to do so she doesn’t forget anything.

Before bed, I saw her writing some things down and I smiled, “Is that your list for tomorrow, Kim?”

“Yep!!” (proud smile)

I totally forgot about her to-do list until after school when I found it on the kitchen table where she left it.

The first item on the list said:

“1. Take list out of my pocket.”

One Liner
Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40-minute flute solo.

Thought for the day
“Fill your minds with those things that are good and that deserve praise: things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable.” (Philippians 4:8 TEV)

Ignoring a temptation is far more effective than fighting it. Once your mind is on something else, the temptation loses its power. So when temptation calls you on the phone, don’t argue with it, just hang up!

Someone Else’s Obituary

Our church was saddened to learn this week of the death of one of our most valued members, Someone Else.

Someone’s passing creates a vacancy that will be difficult to fill. Else has been with us for many years and for every one of those years, Someone did far more than a normal person’s share of the work. Whenever there was a job to do, a class to teach, or a meeting to attend, one name was on everyone’s list, “Let Someone Else do it.”

Whenever leadership was mentioned, this wonderful person was looked to for inspiration as well as results; “Someone Else can work with that group.” It was common knowledge that Someone Else was among the most liberal givers in our church. Whenever there was a financial need, everyone just assumed Someone Else would make up the difference.

Someone Else was a wonderful person; sometimes appearing superhuman. Were the truth known, everybody expected too much of Someone Else. Now Someone Else is gone! We wonder what we are going to do. Someone Else left a wonderful example to follow, but who is going to follow it? Who is going to do the things Someone Else did?

When you are asked to help this year, remember — we can’t depend on Someone Else anymore.

Author Unknown

One Liner
“There aren’t enough days in the weekend.”
~ Steven Wright

Thought for the day
“When Esther’s servants told her what Mordecai was doing, she was deeply disturbed.” Esther 4:4 (TEV)

A key to discovering your destiny is to identify the needs that stir your heart. What is it that upsets you? What causes you to think, “Somebody ought to do something about that”?

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, “What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out of the office?”

“I give it to them,” replied the lawyer, “and then I send them a bill.”

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.

When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

One Liner
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “In an emergency, notify:”, I always put “A doctor.”

Thought for the day
Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.” John 6:68–69 (NIV)

Even if we don’t understand God’s plan, we need to respond to his direction. In fact, when we don’t understand God’s plan, it is even more important to do exactly what he directs us to do.

A old snake goes to see his doctor. “Doc, I need something for my eyes. Can’t see well these days.” The doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in two weeks.

The snake comes back two weeks later and tells the doctor he’s very depressed.

Doc says, “What’s the problem — didn’t the glasses help you?”

“The glasses are fine, Doc. I just discovered I’ve been married to a water hose the past two years!”

One Liner
The greatest of all faults is to imagine you have none.

Thought for the day
The Lord frees us through his Word. Jesus said this in John 8:31-32: “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (NLT). God’s Word will unlock all you’ve been made to do and be. Through it, you’ll be able to do things you’ve never thought possible.

A couple air-heads from warmer climes loved to fish, so they wanted to try ice fishing.

They’d took off up to Canada and found a nice, big frozen lake with a little bait shop nearby where they got all their tackle – including a sturdy ice pick.

About an hour later, one of them was back at the shop and bought another ice pick. In another hour the air-head was back, and said, “We’re going to need all the ice picks you got.”

The bait man said, “Well, OK — How are you doing out there?”

“Not very well at all,” said the air-head. “We don’t even have the boat in the water yet.”

One Liner
“Actions speak louder then words, So believe what you see and forget what you heard.”

Thought for the day
“The purpose of tithing is to teach you to always put God first in your lives.” Deuteronomy 14:23 (TLB)

Tithing is the spiritual habit of giving back to God the first 10 percent of all I make.

My Sunday school class of kindergartners was studying the creation story. After several weeks, we were ready to review.

“What did God make the first day?” I quizzed. “The second day?” They answered both questions correctly.

“And what happened on the third day?” I asked.

One little child, face shining with enthusiasm, exclaimed, “He rose from the dead!”

One Liner
We telemarketers know we’re universally loathed. Still, some people are quite pleasant on the phone.

Thought for the day
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. John13:34 (NIV)

Each of us has a life message that God wants us to share with the world. Sharing the message is part of our life’s mission. When we share that message with other people, it’s called witnessing.

For the first few months of her co-op job for the state of Georgia, my sister had nothing to do, so she surfed the Web or did crossword puzzles. One day she expressed her boredom to a co-worker.

“I know,” she complained. “Everyone thinks state workers have it easy. But there’s only so much you can pretend you’re doing.”

One Liner
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.

Thought for the day
“The Bible is to be read as if written expressly for you.” – A. B. Simpson

Hymns for Everyone

The Dentist’s Hymn: Crown Him With Many Crowns
The Weatherman’s Hymn: There Shall Be Showers of Blessing
The Contractor’s Hymn: The Church’s One Foundation
The Tailor’s Hymn: Holy, Holy, Holy
The Golfer’s Hymn: There is A Green Hill Far Away
The Politician’s Hymn: Standing on the Promises
The Optometrist’s Hymn: Open My Eyes That I Might See
The IRS Agent’s Hymn: I Surrender All
The Gossip’s Hymn: Pass It On
The Electrician’s Hymn: Send the Light
The Shopper’s Hymn: Sweet By and By
The Realtor’s Hymn: I’ve Got A Mansion Just Over the Hilltop
The Pilot’s Hymn: I’ll Fly Away
The Paramedic’s Hymn: Revive Us Again
The Judge’s Hymn: Almost Persuaded
The Architect’s Hymn: How Firm A Foundation
The Telemarketer’s Hymn: A Charge To Keep I Have
The Postal Worker’s Hymn: So Send I You
The Waiter’s Hymn: Fill My Cup, Lord
The Gardener’s Hymn: Lo, How A Rose E’er Blooming
The Lifeguard’s Hymn: Rescue the Perishing
The Criminal’s Hymn: Search Me, O God
The Baker’s Hymn: When the Roll Is Called Up Yonder
The Shoe Repairer’s Hymn: It Is Well With My Soul
The Travel Agent’s Hymn: Anywhere With Jesus
The Geologist’s Hymn: Rock of Ages
The Hematologist’s Hymn: Are You Washed in the Blood?
The Men’s Wear Clerk’s Hymn: Blest Be the Tie
The Umpire’s Hymn: I Need No Other Argument
The Librarian’s Hymn: Whispering Hope

Thought for the day
“If I obey Jesus Christ in the seemingly random circumstances of life, they become pinholes through which I see the face of God. The redemption of God will flow through me to the lives of others, because behind the deed of obedience is the reality of Almighty God.” – Oswald Chambers