After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and
Abel.

As they passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden, one of the boys asked,
“Father, what’s that?”

Adam replied, “Boys, that’s where your mother ate us out of house and home.”

One Liner
Microchips: What’s left at the bottom of the bag.

SAVE THOUSANDS EVERY YEAR with SAVE CLUB!
Discover a revolutionary membership platform that turns everyday spending into extraordinary rewards. With access to over 1,000,000 saving opportunities—from 150,000+ retailers and 60,000+ restaurants to 900,000+ travel partners—Save Club empowers you with exclusive discounts, & unparalleled deals on travel, dining, shopping, entertainment, and more. Our innovative model allows you to save potentially thousands of dollars a year, without changing anything you’re currently doing! Click HERE for more details!

A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a six-pack of Root Beer and he started his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old man. He was sitting in the park just staring at some pigeons. The boy sat down next to him and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old man looked hungry, so he offered him a Twinkie.

He gratefully accepted it and smiled at him. His smile was so pleasant that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered him a root beer.

Again, he smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.

As it grew dark, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave, but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the old man, and gave him a hug. He gave him his biggest smile ever.

When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, “What did you do today that made you so happy? “He replied, “I had lunch with God.” But before his mother could respond, he added, “You know what? God’s got the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen!”

Meanwhile, the old man, also radiant with joy, returned to his home. His son was stunned by the look of peace on his face and he asked,” Dad, what did you do today that made you so happy?” He replied, “I ate Twinkies in the park with God.” However, before his son responded, he added,” You know, he’s much younger than I expected.”

One Liner
Compliment people. Magnify their strengths, not their weaknesses.

SAVE THOUSANDS EVERY YEAR with SAVE CLUB!
Discover a revolutionary membership platform that turns everyday spending into extraordinary rewards. With access to over 1,000,000 saving opportunities—from 150,000+ retailers and 60,000+ restaurants to 900,000+ travel partners—Save Club empowers you with exclusive discounts, & unparalleled deals on travel, dining, shopping, entertainment, and more. Our innovative model allows you to save potentially thousands of dollars a year, without changing anything you’re currently doing! Click HERE for more details!

Tech support people like me spend our days on the phone with customers. Many like to chat while waiting for their computers to reboot. One man told me he’d been a long-haul truck driver.

I’d love to drive a big rig,” I said, “but I’d worry about falling asleep at the wheel.”

“Here’s a tip to stay awake,” he offered. “Put a $100 bill in your left hand and hold it out the window.”

One Liner
If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, “Why am I always getting all this money?”

LIVEGOOD
With a commitment to helping people, LiveGood brings you the most advanced nutritional supplements on the market, made with only the purest, highest quality, results-driven ingredients on the planet, without the expensive pricing mark-ups of other companies.

Many decide on becoming a member of LiveGood which allows you to get wholesale Member pricing on all of our LiveGood products!

Membership is simple. Click Here to find out more.

A second-grade teacher, explaining the concept of rules, asked the students what rules their parents might give before taking them to a nice restaurant.

The first child offered: “Don’t play with your food”

The second said: “Use your inside voice”

The third piped up: “Order something cheap”

One Liner
The English teacher felt nostalgic. He found the past perfect and the present tense.

HIGH TICKET PURPOSE is NOW LIVE!!
DONE FOR YOU DIGITAL BUSINESS SYSTEM …..
This is exactly how beginners are making $600+

This system was engineered for beginners who are ready to start fast and scale with purpose… and for burnt out digital marketers who are done with the hustle.

What’s inside?
+ A high-converting storefront that’s branded to you
+ A funnel built to CONVERT, & nurture cold leads and close them
 + Automated lead-gen tools (like comment triggers + follow-ups)

No guesswork. No overwhelm. No “where do I start?” spiral.
It’s already built — and it’s already working.

And we set it up with you and for you! Click HERE for details!!

A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.

“Great idea!” the chicken cried. “Let’s offer them ham and eggs?”

“Not so fast,” said the pig. “For you, that’s a contribution. For me, it’s a total commitment.”

One Liner
Scientists have finally discovered exactly how much sleep a human needs … just 5 minutes more.

SAVE THOUSANDS EVERY YEAR with SAVE CLUB!
Discover a revolutionary membership platform that turns everyday spending into extraordinary rewards. With access to over 1,000,000 saving opportunities—from 150,000+ retailers and 60,000+ restaurants to 900,000+ travel partners—Save Club empowers you with exclusive discounts, & unparalleled deals on travel, dining, shopping, entertainment, and more. Our innovative model allows you to save potentially thousands of dollars a year, without changing anything you’re currently doing! Click HERE for more details!

There were two men shipwrecked on this island. The minute they got on to the island one of them started screaming and yelling, “We’re going to die! We’re going to die!  There’s no food!  No water!  We’re going to die!”

The second man was propped up against a palm tree and acting so calmly it drove the first man crazy. “Don’t you understand?!? We’re going to die!!”

The second man replied, “You don’t understand, I make $100,000 a week.”

The first man looked at him quite dumbfounded and asked, “What difference does that make?!?  We’re on an island with no food and no water! We’re going to DIE!!!”

The second man answered, “You just don’t get it. I make $100,000 a week and I tithe ten percent on that $100,000 a week. My pastor will find me!”

One Liner
We keep a potato masher in the drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

LIVEGOOD
With a commitment to helping people, LiveGood brings you the most advanced nutritional supplements on the market, made with only the purest, highest quality, results-driven ingredients on the planet, without the expensive pricing mark-ups of other companies.

Many decide on becoming a member of LiveGood which allows you to get wholesale Member pricing on all of our LiveGood products!

Membership is simple. Click Here to find out more.

Lenora, 95-years-old and in excellent health, confided that she was terribly worried: “Every one of my friends has already died and gone on to heaven. I’m afraid they’re all wondering where I went!”

One Liner
The opposite of isolate is yousoearly.

HIGH TICKET PURPOSE is NOW LIVE!!
DONE FOR YOU DIGITAL BUSINESS SYSTEM …..
This is exactly how beginners are making $600+

This system was engineered for beginners who are ready to start fast and scale with purpose… and for burnt out digital marketers who are done with the hustle.

What’s inside?
+ A high-converting storefront that’s branded to you
+ A funnel built to CONVERT, & nurture cold leads and close them
 + Automated lead-gen tools (like comment triggers + follow-ups)

No guesswork. No overwhelm. No “where do I start?” spiral.
It’s already built — and it’s already working.

And we set it up with you and for you! Click HERE for details!!

My wife asked me this morning, “Whacha doin’ today?”

I said, “Nothing.”

She said, “That’s what you did yesterday.”

I said, “I wasn’t finished.”

One Liner
When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare

SAVE THOUSANDS EVERY YEAR with SAVE CLUB!
Discover a revolutionary membership platform that turns everyday spending into extraordinary rewards. With access to over 1,000,000 saving opportunities—from 150,000+ retailers and 60,000+ restaurants to 900,000+ travel partners—Save Club empowers you with exclusive discounts, & unparalleled deals on travel, dining, shopping, entertainment, and more. Our innovative model allows you to save potentially thousands of dollars a year, without changing anything you’re currently doing! Click HERE for more details!