Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on my father’s young peach tree for two years in a row. This spring Dad was ready. He replanted the sapling in a large box, mounted it on wheels, and put the tree in the garage whenever the temperature dropped.

One warm April day Dad was wheeling the tree out into the yard, and stopped to give our dog a drink from the garden hose.

A neighbor watched the scene with amusement.

“Frank,” he finally commented, “you’re the only man I know who walks his tree and waters his dog!”

One Liner
If God was small enough for us to understand, He wouldn’t be big enough for us to worship.

Thought for the day
If you’re an average person, you have three things on your daily “to do” list. You get one of them done, you leave one of them unfinished, and the third one you just forget about. You go home and put your feet up at night and feel good about yourself.

If you’re a perfectionist, you have 29 things on your daily “to do” list. You finish 28 of them, then you go home and feel like a failure! The Bible says, “Even perfection has its limits, but [God’s] commands have no limit” (Psalm 119:96 NLT).

Occasionally at the restaurant where I work there are extra desserts, and the staff are given some to take home. Once I brought home two pieces of cheesecake for my son and daughter. Katie had a piece that evening.

The next day her older brother found her watching TV and eating more cheesecake. “Are you eating my cheesecake?” he demanded.

“Oh, no,” she replied sweetly, “I ate yours yesterday.”

One Liner
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”
– Napoleon Bonaparte

Thought for the day
The Bible says, “We are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10 NLT). The New Testament was written originally in Greek. The Greek word for “masterpiece” is “poema.” It’s the word we get “poem” from. God says, “You’re my poem. You’re my masterpiece. I don’t want you copying somebody else. I’ve put gifts in you — heart, abilities, personality, and experiences — and I want you to use them.” You have worth because of what God says about you and has done for you.

Aboard an airline flight from Europe to America, Grandma Bern was taking her very first flight.

They had only been aloft a few minutes when the old lady complained to the stewardess that her ears were popping.

The girl smiled and gave the older woman some chewing gum, assuring her that many people experienced the same discomfort.

When they landed in New York, Grandma thanked the stewardess. “The chewing gum worked fine,” she said. “Now that we’ve arrived, would you tell me, how do I get it out of my ears?”

One Liner
Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad.

Thought for the day
The Bible says in 2 Peter 3:9, “The Lord isn’t being slow about his promise to return, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to perish, so he is giving more time for everyone to repent” (NLT).

The reason why God puts up with all the grief that he sees on this planet is because he’s being patient. And, he’s waiting for you to step across the line and start a relationship with him.

During a difficult physics lecture, a pre-med student interrupted: “Why do we have to learn this stuff?”

“To save lives,” the professor responded firmly, and continued the lecture.

A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again: “So, how exactly does physics save lives?”

The prof replied, “It keeps the idiots out of medical school.”

One liner
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism

Thought for the day
“Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do … I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test!” (Malachi 3:10 NLT, second edition)

In effect, God is saying, “I dare you! I dare you to see what I will do if you become a giving, generous person. Tithe, and see what happens to your life.”

When I worked as a medical intern in a local hospital, one of my patients was an elderly man with a thick accent.

It took me some time to understand that he had no insurance coverage.

One thing he had made clear was that he was a World War II veteran, so I had him transported to the Veteran’s Administration hospital, where he’d be eligible for benefits.

The next day my patient was back, with a note from the VA: “Right war, wrong side.”

One Liner
Always be sincere, even if you don’t mean it.

Thought for the day
The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 12:4-6, “There are different spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit gives them. There are different ways of serving, and yet the same Lord is served. There are different types of work to do, but the same God produces every gift in every person” (GW).

Special abilities. In the Bible, these special abilities are called spiritual gifts, which makes them different from material or physical gifts. They are the abilities you need to get the job done that God wants you to do. Most people who are believers don’t even know they’ve got them, much less know what they are. But you have them!

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. What do you think it means?”

“You’ll know tonight.” he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it – to find a book entitled “The meaning of dreams”

One Liner
A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school clothes.

Thought for the day
“Do yourself a favor and learn all you can; then remember what you learn and you will prosper” (Proverbs 19:8 TEV). The solution to most of life’s problems is training. So learn all you can.

A woman walks into a post office and notices a middle-aged,
well-dressed man standing at the counter methodically placing
“Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. As he seals
each envelop he sprays it with a puff of perfume.

The woman’s curiosity gets the better of her, so she goes up to the
man and asks what he is doing. The man replies, “I’m
sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?'”

“But why?” she asks.

“Because I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replies.

One Liner
I’ve learned that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

Thought for the day
People who excel keep their word. They are reliable. They can be counted on to do what they say they’ll do. They excel because people of integrity are rare in our society: “Everyone talks about how loyal and faithful he is, but just try to find someone who really is!” (Proverbs 20:6 TEV)

For the kid in all of us:

Q. What did the boy elephant say to the girl elephant on Valentine’s Day?
A. I love you a ton!

Q. What did the boy pickle say to the girl pickle on Valentine’s Day?
A. You mean a great dill to me!

Q. What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine’s Day?
A. Let me call you Tweet heart!

One Liner
Thinly sliced cabbage.
–Cole’s Law

Thought for the day
People who excel sharpen their skills. They never stop developing, growing, learning, and improving: “If your ax is dull and you don’t sharpen it, you have to work harder to use it. It is smarter to plan ahead” (Ecclesiastes 10:10 TEV). It takes more than desire to excel; it takes skill! Remember: You’re never wasting time when you’re sharpening your “ax.”