Leading by Example

When I take a long time, I am slow.
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.

When I don’t do it, I am lazy.
When my boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.

When I do it without being told, I’m trying to be smart.
When my boss does the same, that is initiative.

When I please my boss, that’s brown-nosing.
When my
boss pleases his boss, that’s co-operating.

When I do good, my boss never remembers.
When I do wrong, he never forgets.

One Liner
“It could be worse: there could be 35 teachers for every student.”

Thought for the day
You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Romans 5:6 (NIV)

Even when we were still powerless, Jesus came to guide us home and to give us an exceedinlg, abaundant life on our journey there. “…When we were still powerless …” suggests we now have power to live that abundant life, to follow Jesus into our destiny – and we do! But it is the power of Jesus working in and through us, not a power we earned or developed on our own.

Little Dewey and his family were having Sunday dinner at his grandmother’s house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Dewey received his plate, he started eating right away.

“Dewey! Please wait until we say our prayer,” said his mother.

“I don’t need to,” the boy replied.

“Of course, you do.” his mother insisted through gritted teeth. “We always say a prayer before eating at our house.”

“That’s at our house,” Dewey explained. “But this is Grandma’s house and she knows how to cook.”

One Liner
“A church member waiting to be asked to serve in his own church is just like the member of a family waiting to be invited to pull weeds in front of the house where he lives.”

Thought for the day
“Then Jesus said to her, ‘Your sins are forgiven. …Your faith has saved you; go in peace.” Luke 7:48, 50 (NIV)

Jesus takes our sins seriously and he also takes forgiveness seriously. We need to do the same

A man has to take on up a sport at the advice of his doctor, so he decides
to play tennis.

After a couple of weeks his buddy asks him how he’s doing. “It’s going fine”,
the manager says, “When I’m on the court and I see the ball speeding towards
me my brain immediately says: To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash!
Go back!”

“Really? What happens then?” his friend asks enthusiastically.

“Then my body says: Who? Me? Don’t talk nonsense!”

One Liner 
When people run around and around in circles, we say they are crazy. When
planets do it, we say they are orbiting.

Thought for the day
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. Psalm 46:4

The river of God, is a metaphor for the presence of God, the grace of God, the favor of God that blesses and gladdens His people’s hearts.

Sandra was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection, and the traffic behind her starting growing.

The guy in the car directly behind her started honking his horn continuously as Sandra continued to try getting the car to start up again.

Finally Sandra got out of her car and approached the guy in the car behind her.

“I can’t seem to get my car started,” Sandra said, smiling. “Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I’ll stay here in your car and lean on your horn for you.”

One Liner
“Politicians and diapers have one thing in common – they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.”

Thought for the day
Hebrews 12:1 says, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith …”

What Paul is saying is that you don’t want to give up because heaven is watching and cheering for you. That’s encouraging news!

A New York boy was being led through the swamps of Louisiana by his cousin.

“Is it true that an alligator won’t attack you if you carry a flashlight?”

The cousin smirked and replied, “Depends on how fast ya carry the flashlight.”

One Liner
When your parakeet sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

Thought for the day
Why do you notice the little piece of dust in your friend’s eye, but you don’t notice the big piece of wood in your own eye? First, take the wood out of your own eye. Then you will see clearly to take the dust out of your friend’s eye. (Matthew 7:3-5 NCV)

When you are faced with a conflict, instead of accusing, attacking, or blaming the other person, begin with humility. This is true even if the conflict is 90% their fault.

Each person has their blindspots – No one is perfect and there are things we do that contribute toward a conflict that we have difficulty seeing.

Before you start attacking and blaming, Do a frank evaluation and ask, “How much of this conflict is my fault?” When you’re wrong, admit it. And when you’re right, shut up!

Coping with Life

Below are several things you can do to help keep a healthy level of insanity in your life… 🙂 🙂

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “in”

5. Put decaff in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for blackmail.”

7. Don’t use any punctuation marks

8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

9. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

10. When the money comes out the ATM, scream “I won!”, “I won!” “3rd time this week!!!!!”

11. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “run for your lives, they’re loose!!”

One Liner
“A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.”

Thought for the day
“Much of the Church body today is trying to receive from God through prayers and petitions, but they are not in fellowship; they are not in obedience. Jesus said loving Him involved obeying Him: ‘If ye love me, keep my commandments.’ (John 14:15).

Fellowship with God involves being obedient to Him, not out of ‘Phariseeism’ or legalism, but out of a heart that wants to know and be in fellowship with God by faith. Fellowship with the Father, fellowship with the Word, who is the Son, and fellowship with the Holy Spirit is what God desires.” – Henry Wright

A man who was riding on a bus went up to the driver and whispered in his ear, “That man back there sitting across from us is scaring my wife and children to death. He’s crazy! He claims he is George Washington.”

“Thanks for telling me, mister,” the bus driver said. “I’ll take care of him.”

At the next stop the driver shouted loud and clear, “This stop, Mt. Vernon.”

One Liner
My body is a temple…a really big temple.

Thought for the day
God says there is an antidote to our indecision. Psalm 23:3 tells us, “He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” We handle the stress of decision-making by letting God guide us.