My mom got mad at my dad the other day and went shopping to relieve her irritation. When she returned home she informed him that she had purchased ten new dresses.

“Ten!” he hollered, “What could any woman want with ten new dresses??”

My mom calmly replied, “Ten new pairs of shoes.”

One Liner
I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious self-righteous people around me.

Thought for the day
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” Colossians 3:13

When I have a hard time overlooking an offense, I remember the great gift of God’s forgiveness!

A cowboy from the midwest walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Paris for an international rodeo for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.

The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Cowboy handed over the keys to his new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The cowboy produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest.

Later, the bank’s president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the backwoods cowboy for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank’s private underground garage and parked it.

Two weeks later, the cowboy returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07. The loan officer said, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are a highly sophisticated investor and multimillionaire with real estate and financial interests all over the world. Your investments include a large number of wind turbines around the midwest. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”

The good ‘ol boy replied, “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?”

One Liner
Good news is just life’s way of keeping you off balance.

Thought for the day
“A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” Proverbs 19:11

Your emotional and spiritual maturity is largely measured by how you treat people who mistreat you.

Leaving a plush night club one evening, a miserly gentleman walked past the doorman without tipping him.

Never the less, the doorman helped the man into a taxi with a flourish and said pleasantly, “By the way, in case you happen to lose your wallet on the way home, sir, just remember that you didn’t pull it out here.”

One Liner
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Thought for the day
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. John 3:17-18 (NIV)

Jesus came to do whatever was necessary to cleanse us of our sins so that we could come home to the Father. Again and again, we see Jesus in the New Testament willing to use his power to heal; we see him willing to use his authority to cleanse.

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn’t find a space with a meter.

So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: “I have circled the block 10 times. If I don’t park here, I’ll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES.”

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note. “I’ve circled this block for 10 years. If I don’t give you a ticket, I’ll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION.”

One LINER  
Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due.

Thought for the day
For I am not ashamed of the gospel: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek. Romans 1:16

Paul was on fire for the gospel.  His life centered around it.  Thus he proclaimed it boldly day in and day out.

What happens when you fall in love with:

A chef? (You get buttered up.)

A chauffeur? (You get taken for a ride.)

A gambler? (He cheats on you.)

A telephone operator? (He gives you aphone-y line.)

A trashman? (He dumps you.)

A clockmaker? (He two-times you.)

A pastry cook? (He desserts you.)

A shoe salesman? (He walks all over you.)

An elevator operator? (He lets you down.)

An artist? (He gives you the brush.)

A jogger? (He gives you the run-around.)

One Liner
Yesterday I lost all self-control, but I found it today. It was under the couch.

Thought for the day
If you forgive others the wrongs they have done to you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done. Matthew 6:14-15 (TEV)

If somebody hurt you, let go of it, release them. That’s one of the values of prayer. It helps you unload