I hate the idea of going under the knife. So I was very upset when the doctor told me I needed a tonsillectomy. 

Later, the nurse and I were filling out an admission form. I tried to respond to the questions, but I was so nervous I couldn’t speak. The nurse patted my hand and said, “Don’t worry. This medical problem can easily be fixed, and it’s not a dangerous procedure.” 

“You’re right. I’m being silly,” I said, “please continue.” 

“Good,” the nurse went on, “Now, do you have a living will?” 

One Liner
An aching back sent me stumbling to the drugstore for some kind of relief. After a search, I found what I was looking for: a selection of heating pads designed for people with back pain …. all on the bottom shelf.