A little old man was escorted into the witness box. After being sworn in the lawyer asked him to explain what happened. After a lengthy discussion of the events leading up to the incident he finally got around to the meat of the case, 
    “…and then she hit me with the maple leaf.” 
    “Surely that couldn’t have caused you any serious injury” said the lawyer. 
    “Are you kidding?” exclaimed the old man. “It was the leaf from the center of our dining room table.” 

One Liner
“How did you extract a wallet from that man’s pocket without his knowing it?” asked the judge. 
“My fee is $500.00 for the full course of ten lessons, your honor.”