A preacher was winding up his temperance sermon with great fervor: “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

The congregation cried, “Amen!” 

“And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it in the river.” 

The congregation cried, “Amen!” 

“And if I had all the whiskey and the rum in the world, I’d take it all and throw it in the river.” 

And the congregation cried, “Amen!” 

After the sermon the preacher sat down. The deacon stood up: “For our closing hymn,” he announced, “let us turn to page 126 and sing, ‘We Shall Gather at the River.'”

One Liner
When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?