Two little kids are in the hospital, lying on beds next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in for?” 

The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.” 

The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze.” 

The second kid then says, “What are you here for?” 

The first kid says, “A circumcision.” 

And the second kid says, “Whoa, I had that done when I was born. Couldn’t walk for a year.”

One Liner

Picked up a hitchhiker. He asked if I wasn’t afraid he might be a serial killer? I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the same car was extremely unlikely.