When my grandmother was in her late eighties, she decided to move to Israel. As part of the preparations, she went to see her doctor and get all her charts.

The doctor asked her how she was doing, so she gave him the litany of complaints — this hurts, that’s stiff, I’m tired and slower, etc., etc., etc.

He responded with, “Mrs. Siegel, you have to expect things to start deteriorating. After all, who wants to live to 100?”

My grandmother looked him straight in the eye and replied, “Anyone who’s 99.”

One Liner

Cold? Go stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees