A guy comes into a coffee shop and places his order: “I want three flat tires and a pair of headlights.”
The waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, goes to the kitchen and asks the cook, “This guy out there just ordered three flat tires and a pair of headlights. What does he think, this is an auto parts store?!”
“No,” the cook says. “Three flat tires means three pancakes and a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up.”
“Oh,” says the waitress. She thinks about this and then she spoons up a bowl of beans and gives it to the customer.
The guy says, “What are the beans for?”
The waitress replies, “I thought that, while you’re waiting for the flat tires and headlights, you might want to gas up.”
Middle Age: When a broad mind and a narrow waist change places.