I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort.

“Sorry,” I replied, “but I’ve been incapacitated.”

Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind and volunteer.

I interrupted and said, “Listen to me. I’m incapacitated. Do you know what that means?”

She hesitated. “It means your head was cut off?”

One Liner

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on Delta flight 963 from LA to Tokyo.