A man feels very ill upon returning to the U.S. from a trip abroad. He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. 

The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. “This is your doctor. We’ve got the results back from your tests, and we’ve found you have an exceptionally dangerous virus that is extremely contagious!” 

“Oh my gosh,” cries the man in a panic, “What are you going to do?!”

Well, we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and quesadillas.” 

“Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully. The doctor replied, “No, but it’s the only food we can get under the door.”

One Liner

I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines. He is a Singer song writer. Or sew it seams.