I am a Senager. (Senior teenager) 

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. 

I don’t have to go to school or work. 

I get an allowance every month. 

I have my own pad. 

I don’t have a curfew. 

I have a driver’s license and my own car. 

The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don’t have acne. 

Life is great. 

When I was a child I thought nap time was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation. 

I don’t have gray hair, I have “wisdom highlights.”

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice. 

At my age “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for. 

One Liner

Bread is a lot like the sun. It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.