An elderly man who lived alone in Idaho…..wanted to till his sizable potato garden, ….but it was backbreaking work, …..and his son, …..who used to help him, …..was recently sent to jail.

The old man mentioned this ….in a letter he sent to his son,…..He wrote:… “I’m not sure exactly what to do…… I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot…….It looks like I won’t be able to plant that garden this year after all.”

A few days later, he received a short note from his son, “Dad, For heaven’s sake, don’t dig up that garden …..that’s where We buried the loot ….from the heist!”

At 4 a.m. the next morning, a crew of police officers, arrived to find the stolen property.

After digging for hours, …..they gave up …..apologized to the old man …. and left.

A few days later the elderly gentleman received another letter from his son….. “Dear Dad, under these circumstances, that’s the best I can do, …. You should be able to plant your potatoes now.” (Pause)

One Liner
Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn’t want to live there.

Thought for the day
“You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For, ‘In just a very little while, he who is coming will come and will not delay.'” (Hebrews 10:36-37 NIV)

If you’re discouraged because of God’s delay in answering your prayers, understand the delay is not a denial. Just because the answer hasn’t come yet doesn’t mean God isn’t going to answer or that he’s forgotten you or that he doesn’t care about you.

It simply means “not yet”!

Who says today’s kids aren’t smart? At a high school in Montana a group of high schoolers played a prank on the school. They let 3 goats loose in the school. Before they let them go they painted numbers on the sides of the goats..1-2-4.

Local school administrators spent most of the day looking for #3.

One Liner
To be sure of always hitting the target: Shoot first and, whatever you hit, call it the target.

Thought of the day
You need to accept God’s Word as your authority. Why? Because it is the only source that will never lie to you. If you’re going to be a man or woman of courage, you need to build your life on the rock that never changes, not on popular opinion. Build your life on the understanding that “God said it, I believe it, and that settles it — whether I understand it or not.” Hebrews 6:18 says, “God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us” (NLT).

When a guy’s printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.

Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told him he might be better off reading the printer’s manual and trying the job himself.

Pleasantly surprised by his candor, he asked, “Does your boss know that you discourage business?”

“Actually, it’s my boss’s idea,” the employee replied sheepishly.

“We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first.”

One Liner
“Insanity is hereditary: you get it from your kids.”

Thought for the day
The Bible says that when we are finally able to see Jesus perfectly, we will become perfectly like him: “We can’t even imagine what we will be like when Christ returns. But we do know that when he comes we will be like him, for we will see him as he really is” (1 John 3:2 NLT).

It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice and dropped in his fishing line. He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice not far from him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass.

The old man couldn’t believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck. But, shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch.

The young boy kept catching fish after fish. Finally, the old man couldn’t take it any longer. “Son, I’ve been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You’ve been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?”

The boy responded, “Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm.”

“What was that?” the old man asked.

Again the boy responded, “Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm.”

“Look,” said the old man, “I can’t understand a word you’re saying.”

The boy spit the contents of his mouth into his hand and said, “You have to keep the worms warm!”

One Liner
Sign in a barber shop: All of our customers make us happy: some by arriving, some by leaving.

Thought for the day
“Our love for each other proves that we have gone from death to life.” (1 John 3:14 CEV)

If I have no love for others, no desire to serve others, and I’m only concerned about my needs, I should question whether Christ is really in my life. A saved heart is one that wants to serve.

Calling For Tech Support?
(sound familiar?)

Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring…. Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring…Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring…Ring…

Automated Answer:

“Thank you for calling Technical Support.

“All of our technicians are currently busy helping people even less competent than you, so please hold for the next available technician.

“The waiting time is now estimated at between 15 minutes and eternity. In order to expedite your call, please punch your 63-digit product identification number onto your telephone touch pad, followed by your product serial number, which can be found in a secret compartment inside your computer where, for security purposes, it is printed in the smallest typeface known to mankind.

“Do that now.”

One Liner
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

Thought for the day
“I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds” (John 12:24 NIV).

The problem is we tend to get impatient, so we dig up the seed to check the progress of its growth, and that slows down our growth! If you’re not seeing as much fruit as you’d like, don’t despair. Growth takes time.

The tall, handsome, confident gentleman walked over to the girl and made a disparaging remark about the men who had been chatting her up.

She laughed gaily, “When I don’t want a man’s attentions,” she confided, “and he asks where I live, I just say, ‘I’m visiting here’.”

“Ha-ha,” he laughed, relishing her humor. “Where do you really live?”

“I’m just visiting here.”

One Liner
A doting father used to sing his little children to sleep until he overheard the four-year-old tell the three-year-old, “If you pretend you’re asleep, he stops.”

Thought for the day
Your character is essentially the sum of your habits; it is how you habitually act. The Bible says, “Put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:24 NIV).