My old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, “You’re next!” After a while, I figured out how to stop them. I started doing the same thing to them at funerals!

One Liner
Children are natural mimics – they act like us in spite of all our attempts to teach them good manners.

Thought for the day
Philippians 4:6-7 describes the attitude you should have when you listen to God’s voice. “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus” (NLT).

Tribute to March Madness! 

The bank manager noticed the new clerk was not very good at counting money and adding up figures.

“Where did you get your finance education?” he asked.

“Yale,” replied the lad.

“Oh, that’s quite impressive. And what’s your name?” barked the manager.

“Yim Yohnston,” he replied.

One Liner
Have you ever noticed…. Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Thought for the day
Becoming like Christ is a long, slow process of growth. Spiritual maturity is neither instant nor automatic; it is a gradual, progressive development that will take the rest of your life.

Referring to this process, Paul said, “This will continue until we are … mature, just as Christ is, and we will be completely like him” (Ephesians 4:13 CEV).

If your wife doesn’t feel well, gentlemen, do what I do to speed her recovery … offer to help with the housework. If you don’t think there’s such a thing as a miracle recovery, you ought to see my wife get well again every time I start to vacuum the windows.

One Liner
“No one is useless to God. No one.” – Max Lucado

Thought for the day
I have given them Your Word … John 17:14 (NIV)

You will spare your kids a lot of headaches, heartaches, and heartbreaks if you teach them to rely on God’s Word as the sole authority for their lives

Dr. Mike Wilson asks his patient, “Which do you want first, the good news or the bad news?”

The patient replies, “Give me the good news.”

Dr. Wilson says, “You’re about to have a disease named after you.”

One Liner
“My husband says I never listen to him; at least I think that’s what he said.”

Thought for the day
We can pray that our children will LIVE FOR CHRIST joyfully: “I pray these things while I’m still in the world so that they will have the same joy that I have” (John 17:13, GW).

Tribute to March Madness!!