One Sunday after church Mom asked her very young daughter what the Sunday School lesson was about. Daughter answered “Don’t be scared, you’ll get your quilts.”

Needless to say, Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, Pastor stopped by for tea. Mom asked him what that morning’s Sunday school lesson was about.

He said “Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming.” Now it made sense.

One Liner
“No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.”
~Abraham Lincoln

Thought for the day
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

You may be facing a dead end right now—financial, emotional, relational—but if you will trust God and keep on moving in faith, even when you don’t see a way, he will make a way.

My husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often he turns to me for advice. Recently, I was in the shower when he poked his head in to ask, “What should I feed Lily for lunch?”

“That’s up to you,” I replied. “There’s all kinds of food. Why don’t you pretend I’m not at home?”

A few minutes later, my cell phone rang. I answered it to hear my husband asking, “Yeah, hi, Honey. Uh…what should I feed Lily for lunch?”

One Liner
“Self-esteem-boosting tip: Whenever you receive mail addressed to “resident,” just write a big “P” in front of that to make yourself feel more important.”

Thought for the day
Paul only had one resolution on his New Year’s list: “This year I resolve to know nothing but Christ and him crucified” (1 Corinthians 2:2).

When the wealthy businessman choked on a fish bone at a restaurant, he was fortunate that a doctor was seated at a nearby table.

Springing up, the doctor skillfully removed the bone and saved the man’s life.

As soon as the fellow had calmed himself and could talk again, he thanked the surgeon enthusiastically and offered to pay him for his services.

“Just name the fee,” he croaked gratefully.

“Okay,” replied the doctor. “How about half of what you’d have offered when the bone was still stuck in your throat?”

One Liner
“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.” – Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Thought for the day
By our baptism, then, we were buried with him and shared his death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from death by the glorious power of the Father, so also we might live a new life. Romans 6:4 (TEV)

If you haven’t been baptized as an expression of your faith in Christ, be obedient to Jesus and be baptized as soon as possible

A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, “Boys and girls, what do we know about God?” A hand shot up in the air. “He is an artist!” said the kindergarten boy. “Really? How do you know?” the teacher asked. “You know – Our Father, who does art in Heaven…”

One Liner
People want the front of the bus, back of the church and center of attention.

Thought for the day
Let the Spirit change your way of thinking. Ephesians 4:23 (CEV)

Move ahead, doing the right thing in spite of your fears and feelings. This is how you cooperate with the Holy Spirit

I just read that last year 4,153,237 people got married in the U.S. I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?

One Liner
Did you hear about the two radio antennas that got married?

The wedding was terrible, but the reception was excellent!

Thought for the day
“Heaven will be the perfection we’ve always longed for. All the things that made Earth unlovely and tragic will be absent in heaven.” – Billy Graham

Ms. Crabtree had been telling her 1st grade class the story of the discovery of America by Columbus.

She concluded with, “And all this happened more than 500 years ago.”

“Wow!” exclaimed Little Johnny, “What a great memory you have!”

One Liner
“If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?”

Thought for the day
Romans 12:3 says, “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you” (NIV).

Evaluate where you are so that you can know where you should go.